A Hatred for Bank of America

I really hate Bank of America, I really do.  This all started when it was next to impossible to get access to my money in the local BOA branch, it took manager approval.  You see accounts in Florida, are very different than ones in Washington.  Each state is treating seperately (I didn't look into why, but there probably some stupid laws that our over bearing government have passed at some point).  So the easiest thing to do was to open a new account here in Washington.  But most of our money is still in the Florida account.  All I wanted to do was go online and transfer my money from the Florida account to the Washington account.  Something that in theory sounds very easy to accomplish.  Well I ended up in a live chat with a bank representative, which I post here for your enjoyment.  Hopefully you will also see the absurdity that this is just to get money from one BOA account to another, both of which are in my name.  And, in my haste, my spelling was awful, so I hope that makes it a little bit funnier.

Arron: Hello, my name is Arron. Thank you for choosing Bank of America Text Chat service. I'm here to assist you with your personal accounts today. May I have your complete name and the last four digits of the account number please?

You: 0487
You: Christopher Wynn

Arron: Thank you.
Arron: A very warm welcome to you.
Arron: How may I assist you with your personal accounts today?

You: hi, i need to transfer money to another bank of america account (my own), the site is asking me for the last 8 digits of my debit card number, but I do not have that card, so I have no idea what it is

Arron: Thank you for the information, Christopher.
Arron: I understand your concern regarding the funds transfer.
Arron: Please note the debit card is required to initiate a transfer to another Bank of America customer's account.

You: well that's a problem. my card was cancelled by you awhile ago (suspected to be compromised), and it was never replaced
You: though i did ask for it to be replaced

Arron: I really apologize for the inconvenience caused in this matter.
Arron: If you allow me I can issue you a new card.

You: now i have moved from florida to washington and have opened a new account in washington and i need to transfer the funds to that new account
You: i don't want a new card, it is useless as that account will be closed

Arron: Please note that accounts opened in Washington are not eligible for online transfers.

You: that is totally ridicolous, it is the same bank

Arron: However, you can use Bill Pay.

You: well that would be great if i could put money into the new account to use bill pay

Arron: Absolutely you can.

You: no, you are telling me that i cannot transfer funds to a washington account

Arron: Yes, funds can not be transferred to that account through Online Funds transfer option.

You: i will probably just go withdrawl all of my funds and move to a new bank
You: i find it ridicolous that i cannot move money from one account to another in the same institution
You: it is my money, not bank of americas
You: i should be able to do that very easily

Arron: I agree with you.
Arron: You can do it using Online Bill Pay.
Arron: There will be no fee.

You: i am not paying a bill
You: i want to put my money in my new account to be able to pay bills

Arron: I know.
Arron: However, you can use Bill Pay service to make a deposit.

You: how long would it take for that to process?

Arron: It will take 2-4 business days.

You: yeah, that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I will take the pain and go into the branch tomorrow morning and do it there
You: but i will be moving to a new institution
You: that makes it easy for me to manage my own money

Arron: I wish I could retail your relationship.
Arron: I am very disappointed.
Arron: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?

You: no

Arron: Thank you for being an esteemed customer.
Arron: Have a pleasant evening!
Arron: Thank you for choosing Bank of America. To safeguard any personal information, please close this window by clicking the "Close" button in the upper right corner of the chat window.


Anonymous said...

I bet his name wasn't even Arron, but either way this is a pretty amusing conversation.

Anonymous said...

My poem: Ode To Bank of America
by steinein

Bank of America is the Bank of Suck
They take advantage of people who're down on their luck
Someone needs to put a stop to their awful games
And keep them from earning more ill gotten gains

Bank of Suck just makes me cry
There's one big old reason why
I'm in the fourth year of a Bank of Sucky Hell
And boy have I got a story to tell

Money there you should never risk
They put a charge on my card that shouldn't exist

When I disputed they said "We'll take care of it for you"
But it was all just fakery and lies abounded too
And two months later it went suddenly bad
Because their final response was "Too bad so sad"

To the Better Business Bureau Bank of Suck lied
And the OCC I think they paid on the side

They ain't Bank of America, they're Bank of Suck
They steal money from people, and don't give a f___
They ruled my world with an iron fist
They closed my account when I tried to resist

There ain't no one to help me but me
So that's why I'm now screaming so loudly

Bank of Suck they got me really mad
Charging me for things they really shouldn't have
They said "you better not think that is the end of it"
And dropped me head first into an arbitration scam pit

I thought they'd eat me alive
Had no one on my side

I said

"Bank of America now give me a break
Leave me the few bucks left you didn't take
I'm already out thirty-five hundred
Please leave me a few dollars unplundered"

But I was right, and I knew it
And I had the docs to prove it

And oh my lord, I won

Alright, oh yay, somehow I won the day
The arbitrator said I didn't have to pay

Just then it should have been over, it should have been done
But Bank of Suck couldn't leave it alone
And got even more sucky, than before, you know
And hatched a plan to get back some of that dough

They issued me the dreaded ten-ninety-nine-c
And now I have massive tax liability

The IRS says they should cancel it forthwith
But they love it too much to think to destroy it

They won't listen up
They won't void it out
So I'm here today to scream and shout

And this isn't just for me
It's for you and you too
Because one day you might be walking in my shoes

We all gotta do something about this today
The black hole of banks
The pit of financial despair

(Put any negative remark you'd like to right there)

Will suck all our rights
And our money

Anonymous said...

i have being trying for 5 hours to get them to get my atm card working yeah like that did me any good and sent me to a online banking asking for my card huh they got my money but i cant even use it at all tell teusday when i go in there and im handicapp they say were open 24 hours yeah right then why cant they answer the phone and help some of there customers that are great they still have not yet helped me

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